Releasing Comparison: Outsmarting the Nafs When You Feel 'Less Than'
Within the past month, a few of you reached out to me with a beautiful, well-meaning sentiment. You mentioned that you felt my posts were "underrated" and that Sufiquest deserved a much larger following.
I found it interesting that these comments came within this short span of time, so I did what I enjoy most: I started to contemplate and connect the dots. Their kind words made my mind drift back to about four years ago.
Back then, I used to sit with that exact same question. I would look at numbers, compare growth, and wonder why my account had such slow growth. But before I could understand that this was actually a test to gauge my sincerity, I hit a wall.
In fact, I took a very long break around 2022. I believe it was because I had lost sight of why I was posting. My lower self had convinced me that it was all pointless if I was not getting as many likes as others.
I had to stop and look deeply into my soul, asking myself: Was I truly serving Allah, or simply serving my own need for validation?
Over time, through that silence, I finally began to understand the lesson.
I had many realizations after contemplating this matter back then and, alhamdulillah, I gained clarity. I realized that my expectation of measuring the meaning of what I did through the number of likes I received was simply not realistic.
Allah helped me understand that, in order to serve Him sincerely, I had to ask myself just one question before publishing anything:
Do I believe this message is important and could benefit someone?
It is not about what others believe to be important. Do I believe in it?
After all, this was the original reason I began posting as Sufiquest. As I was going through a very dark awakening in my own life, I was finding light in the quotes and lessons of the awliya (Friends of Allah) that I would share with others because I thought they were important. I took them to heart and derived healing from implementing them.
This recent contemplation, sparked by those comments, made me realize that the mechanism of comparison, the subtle ache of feeling "underrated," or the quiet anxiety that we aren't where we "should" be is a universal modern trap.
Some of you I meet with in 1:1 sessions are also struggling with having abandoned the work you began on social media simply because you did not see quick growth or receive the external validation you hoped for.
This brings me back to how social media has simply weaponized a very old part of our psychology. And... how do we heal a heart that is constantly being told it doesn't have enough, or isn't seen enough?
To find the answer, we have to stop looking at our screens and start looking at the psychology of the soul.
The trap of takathur and the illusion of the nafs
Surah At-Takathur (Chapter 102) serves as a profound psychological mirror for humanity. Comprising just eight concise verses, this Surah confronts our innate obsession with accumulating status, wealth, and worldly recognition.
The term At-Takathur translates to a restless "competing for increase"—the exhausting race to outdo one another that consumes our attention until death abruptly cuts the race short.
Through these verses, the Quran shifts our understanding of true achievement, reminding the believer that ultimate success is not quantified by worldly metrics, but by the depth of our faith, our actions, and our readiness for the Akhirah (the Hereafter).
Yet, the very last thing our lower self, our ego, or Nafs, wants us to remember is this fundamental truth:
Each of us is a unique expression of a divine blueprint.
Why I am choosing to use the word blueprint:
- A blueprint implies you are not an accident; you were drawn up with careful thought and unrepeatable purpose.
- Just as no two skyscrapers share the exact same structural blueprint, no two people share the same spiritual design.
- A blueprint is a plan for a building that has yet to be fully constructed. It implies that your life is a beautiful work in progress.
From horizontal gaze to vertical peace
When we get trapped in comparison, our spiritual sight becomes skewed. We become locked in a horizontal gaze—constantly looking left and right, checking who is ahead of us, who is catching up, and who has what we think we lack.
In Islamic psychology, this horizontal focus is exhausting because the creation (Al-Khalq) is intrinsically unstable. People’s opinions change, algorithms shift, and worldly trends fade. Trying to find our worth by looking sideways at others is like anchoring a ship to a moving wave. To heal, we must deliberately consciously shift to a vertical gaze—lifting our eyes from the screen and anchoring our hearts upward, toward the Creator.
The Law of Divine Allocation (Rizq and Qadr)
A vertical gaze requires us to accept a foundational pillar of Islamic psychology: Rizq (provision) is completely customized. Your Rizq includes not just your wealth, but your knowledge, your audience, your influence, and your unique challenges. The Prophet ﷺ gave us the ultimate psychological remedy for the horizontal gaze when he said:
"Look at those who are beneath you and do not look at those who are above you, for it is more suitable that you should not underestimate the blessings of Allah." (Sahih, Sunan Ibn Majah)
When applied to the digital world, this Hadith is revolutionary. It teaches us that looking "above" at the curated highlights of others breeds discontent, whereas looking down—or turning away entirely—protects the Qalb (spiritual heart) from developing a layer of rust made of ungratefulness.
Reclaiming your unique assignment
When you step out of the horizontal race, you realize that someone else’s success does not equal your failure. Their massive reach does not diminish your intimate impact. In the divine blueprint, your only real competition is yesterday's version of yourself.
By shifting our focus vertically, we move from the frantic anxiety of "Why don't I have what they have?" to the quiet, powerful peace of "O Allah, what do You want me to do with what You have given me right here, right now?"
Practical remedies
Knowing the psychology of the trap is only half the cure; we must also give our hands and hearts daily tools to break free.
If an account consistently triggers the ache of inadequacy, envy, or restlessness within you, unfollow or mute it without guilt. Guarding your heart from unnecessary trials is an act of spiritual intelligence.
Replace the urge to scroll with active shukr (gratitude). When you feel that sudden drop in your stomach—the subtle sting of seeing someone else move faster, grow larger, or shine brighter than you—let that trigger be your cue to turn vertically.
Close the app or flip the phone over, and name some specific, quiet blessings in your immediate reality that money cannot buy and algorithms cannot measure.
For example, thanking Allah for things we often take for granted such as our eyelashes! or our digestive system, our skin, all the miracolous inner workings of our bodies! they truly are magnificent. As soon as I begin to contemplate on the incredible inner realities of my own body, I feel immense gratitude.
Gratitude acts as an internal anchor that stabilizes the wandering eye and returns the soul to a state of profound contentment with the divine decree.
May Allah awaken us, keep us focused on the immense blessings He has given us, and guide us to use them in ways that benefit our journey back to Him, our communities, and the world. Ameen. 🌎📿
⭐Social media will always tell you that you are running behind, forcing the soul to look outward for a worth that can only ever be found within. If you want a quiet space to step away from the digital noise, reflect on your divine blueprint, and practice grounding your heart in Allah’s presence, I put together a simple, intentional resource for you.
Remembering the Healer in You: A Sufi Approach
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