Why the Spiritual Path Does Not Have a Formula

One of the questions I receive most often is:

"Can you write a guide on how to be a Sufi?"

Or,

"Can you teach us the Sufi path step by step?"

As much as I would love to hand you a step by step, the truth is that I can't and I shouldn't.

Not because the Sufi path is vague or mysterious, but because reducing it to a step by step would unintentionally limit the countless ways Allah may choose to guide you.

My goal is not to teach you my path to Allah. It is to help you recognize your path to Allah.

That may sound surprising at first. After all, don't we all follow the same religion? (if you happen to be Muslim).

Yes—we share the same foundation. The Qur'an, the Sunnah, remembrance of Allah, sincere worship, good character, and purification of the heart are timeless anchors for every Muslim.

But the way Allah awakens each individual heart is beautifully unique, and sadly, a lot of people don't recognize it because it may miss the idea they have on their mind about what Islam or Sufism should be or look like.

The hidden desire for a formula

Many of us begin our spiritual journey looking for certainty.

We ask questions like:

"Which dhikr should I recite?"

"How many times should I repeat it?"

"Which wird (spiritual litany) is the best?"

There is nothing wrong with these questions. In fact, they often come from sincere longing. But sometimes, beneath those questions lies another desire.

We hope there is a formula.

We hope that if we simply complete the correct actions in the correct order, spiritual transformation will naturally follow.

There is comfort in that idea because formulas feel safe, they remove uncertainty.

They make us feel that if we simply follow the instructions, everything else will take care of itself. Yet the spiritual path has never been about controlling the outcome. It has always been about surrendering to the One who guides it.

When the method becomes more important than Allah

One of the greatest dangers on the spiritual path is not neglecting spiritual practices. It is becoming attached to a particular method while forgetting the One that method was meant to bring us closer to.

I often see people limiting the meaning of dhikr to repeating certain Names of Allah, reciting particular verses of the Qur'an, or sending salawat upon the Prophet ﷺ with the tongue.

These are precious treasures of our tradition. However, they are not mechanical formulas that guarantee transformation or nearness to Allah through verbal repetition alone.

I began questioning this many years ago when Allah placed people in my path whose tongues were constantly moist with dhikr, yet whose actions were deeply at odds with the very remembrance they professed.

This observation made me seek a deeper understanding of what true remembrance is.

It forced me to ask an uncomfortable question: if dhikr is meant to transform the heart, why wasn't I seeing that transformation reflected in their character?

The purpose of every spiritual practice is to soften the heart, awaken remembrance, and deepen our relationship with Allah. Our thoughts, emotions, and actions are often the clearest mirror of how deeply we truly believe what we recite.

Sometimes Allah uses repeated dhikr to transform someone, sometimes He uses a hardship. Sometimes He uses a verse of the Qur'an that suddenly reaches the heart in a way it never had before.

Sometimes He teaches through serving others. Sometimes through seclusion. Sometimes through deep tafakkur—contemplating His signs within ourselves and throughout creation.

And sometimes, He teaches through a combination of all these, in a way that looks very different from what we consider the norm.

For one person, the path may unfold through caring for a sick child or a loved one. For another, through not having children or through widowhood. For someone else, through divorce or the prolonged struggle of remaining single while longing for a spouse.

Or it may unfold through having a loving spouse, healthy children, and every blessing one hoped for, yet still feeling an unshakable emptiness within. Sometimes Allah teaches us not through the absence of what we desire, but through the realization that even our greatest blessings cannot fill a heart that longs for Him and to be healed.

For another person, Allah might call them through sudden fame. For another, through the inability to find a job. For someone else, through a life-changing physical transformation such as no longer being able to walk, move, see, or hear.

Allah knows exactly which experiences each heart needs in order to awaken.

Allah is not limited in the ways He teaches His servants. Why should we limit Him?

A rigid mindset makes surrender more difficult

It is very important that each of us identify which ideas or beliefs we hold that are rather rigid and make it more difficult for us to trust Allah.

Shaykh Yahya Rhodus once spoke about the difference between a growth mindset and a fixed mindset, explaining that the growth mindset is much closer to the teachings of the Prophet ﷺ.

Through a growth mindset, we learn to benefit from every circumstance and every situation in our lives because we begin to see each experience as an opportunity for learning, purification, and drawing closer to Allah.

However, many of us can sometimes fall into fixed and rigid ways of thinking on the spiritual path. We may become uncomfortable with questioning our assumptions, considering another perspective, or allowing Allah to expand our understanding.

I do not believe this usually comes from arrogance. More often, it comes from fear.

Sometimes we dismiss a reminder before truly reflecting on it simply because it feels unfamiliar. And when something feels unfamiliar, our human nature can sometimes interpret it as threatening rather than as an opportunity to learn.

This is how we can begin seeing the world in extremes: either someone is guided or misguided, either we are good or bad, either we obey or disobey. There is little room left for growth, learning, repentance, and transformation.

A rigid mindset seeks certainty above all else. A receptive heart seeks Allah above all else. There is an important difference.

I remember someone commenting on one of my Instagram posts a while back, saying they understood and appreciated that particular piece of content which I grounded in the Qur'an and Sunnah. However, they also asked whether speaking openly about these ideas might lead people to believe they could simply choose whatever path they wanted and become misguided.

My answer was perhaps different from what they expected.

I told them that I believe the opposite. I have certainty in my heart that Allah sincerely guides those who genuinely seek Him. Guidance is not ultimately in my hands, nor in the hands of any teacher. It belongs to Allah alone, for He knows what is within every heart.

When we withhold beneficial reminders or attempt to control what others are allowed to think out of fear that they may become misguided, we unintentionally communicate something troubling: that Allah's guidance depends more on our ability to control information than on His ability to guide His servants.

Of course, this does not mean accepting every idea uncritically or failing to do our best to communicate with ihsan (excellence). We remain anchored to the Qur'an and the Sunnah. However, the foundation of our guidance is our intention, and therefore we must also trust that Allah is continually educating each heart in the unique way it needs.

Let Allah surprise you

Perhaps one of the greatest acts of trust is allowing Allah to guide us in the way He knows we most need.

Not the way we expected.
Not the way someone else experienced.
Not according to a formula.

But according to His infinite wisdom.

In my early days of exploring the Sufi path, I tried committing to a specific number of dhikr repetitions every day. However, as I observed my own heart, I noticed that this particular approach was not bringing me the sense of connection and presence I was seeking.

Instead, I found my heart naturally returning to remembrance throughout my day, such as when I was reading, watching something that inspired reflection, cleaning my home, observing a flower, looking at the sky, doing landscape photography or learning about how other people from the past or present solve the problems I may also have.

Structured repetition of dhikr may be a beautiful doorway for some hearts, but Allah knows the unique ways through which each of us awakens, and they are not necessarily the ways someone tells you your heart should awaken.

I say this because many people feel disconnected and discouraged when certain spiritual practices do not seem to help them feel closer to Allah. They believe they simply need to do more and more of them in order for their hearts to awaken, and this is often when they begin to feel that the Sufi path is difficult.

But Allah is not asking us to exhaust ourselves in worship. He is asking us to seek Him with sincerity and awareness, while recognizing that each of us has been given a unique way of connecting with Him.

The Sufi path invites us to ask ourselves: What is it that brings my heart closer to Allah? What makes my heart feel alive? What moments throughout my day remind me of Him?

Walk your path with sincerity and trust. Pay attention to the signs He places before you, and do not be afraid if your journey does not look exactly like someone else's. The destination is the same.

Allah writes a different story for every heart that seeks Him. Perhaps the spiritual path was never meant to be mastered through a formula, or a step by step, but through continually pausing and asking:

Where am I finding Allah in my everyday life?